My parents, shortly after they married...in 1953

My parents, shortly after they married...in 1953
Frances Mary Turri and Herbert Pompeii Pilato, in 1953, shortly after they married.

Monday, April 11, 2016

Eva Easton Leaf: A Celebration of Everyone's Best Friend

One of my best friends has died.  Eva Easton Leaf, otherwise known as Evie.  Although Evie was a first cousin to me and my sister Pam (our mothers were sisters), she was more like a sister to us.  We grew up in the same house, a duplex with two households. My sister and I lived with our parents, Herbie Pompeii, and Frances Turri, on one side.  Evie lived with her parents, Carl and Elva, on the other side.  The address was on Erie Street, in the inner city of our hometown of Rochester, New York (which is located today one block away from where now stands Frontier Field, behind the global headquarters of Eastman Kodak).
Evie moved to Los Angeles in the 1970s, and married David Leaf.  Theirs was an astounding love-story.  Theirs remains an astounding love story.
David honored me with a request to say a few words at Evie’s memorial service on April 8th.  Below is what I said about Ev.  

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Every day we see unspeakable tragedies - and we respond by being sad.  Yet our faith tells us to “rejoice and be glad…for this is the day the Lord has made.”
So how can we be sad and have faith at the same time?
We either have faith or we don’t.
It doesn’t make sense, and yet it does…because we live in a broken world…and it’s impossible to seek perfection in an imperfect world. 
I say all of this because Eva…Evie…Ev…Eve… had faith…an unwavering faith…a steady faith that kept her strong and on target every day of her life.
St. Augustine had said “A prayer sung is a prayer said twice.”
And Eva had the kind of faith that sings.
She understood the power of music…heavenly music…which she recognized on a daily basis.
She understood the music of life...and the delicate dance of life.
A few hours after she passed away in the hospital, I got in my car to drive home.  I turned on the radio and heard the song, “I Can See Clearly Now...the Rain is Gone.”
I never realized the true beauty of that song until I heard it that day…when…I viewed that as a message that Eva okay….enjoying “a bright, sunshiny day”…in Heaven.  And when I later told this to David…he said that same song was always one of his favorites.  To me, that doubled confirmed Eva’s “bright sunshiny day” - and new life - in Heaven.
On Earth, Eva was my number one fan.
She was everyone’s number one fan.  She always made you feel like you were the only person in the room. 
So, it’s tough not to be sad in this broken world.
But we have to be tougher….because that’s truly what Eva would want.  She would want us to “rejoice and be glad”…as much as possible.
We should not deny our tears…because they make us human.
But Eva would want us to be comforted by our faith…by every good faith…which is based in Love…because Love is God…and God is Love…and no one that I know knew that more than Eva.
She mirrored Love when it mattered.  She was generous in every way that mattered. She was Love in the way she listened…in the way she lived…in the way she died…and in the way how our faith tells us she now lives again in Heaven…with dignity, intelligence, courage…and music.

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Click on the link below to post your memory of Eva Easton Leaf.


Friday, February 12, 2016

Thank you, Mom, for raising me right

Thank you, Mom, for raising me right.

Thank you for always being home when I got there...for always welcoming me with a smile...for teaching me all about Love - and how to Love and forgive everyone...even and especially when they hurt us.

Thank you for catering three meals a deal, with snacks in between...for doing my laundry...for helping me with my homework...for being a best friend...and for being a beautiful parent.

Thank you for not having any aspirations other than to care for your children...for not studying, focusing on or investing in anything other than Love.

Thank you for not making me feel like you sacrificed any career opportunities in order to Love and care for me - and thank you for making me feel like I was always your proudest and most important accomplishment.

Every good thing I ever said or did...or every good thing I ever say or do today, even in the smallest way, is because of the Love that God placed in my heart and in my life - through you.

So, again...thank you, Mom...for raising me right.

As I used to say to you and Dad before I fell asleep each safe night I lived in our beautiful home, "Thank you SO much...for everything!"

Friday, December 18, 2015

Aunt Anna's Christmas Tree

I just received this Christmas card today (see pic above).

It reminded me of when I was a kid and my Aunt Anna's Christmas tree and where she would place it in her house (in my hometown of Rochester, NY)...how she would place the tree in the corner...near her winding stair case.

Just like it's shown on this card.

Our family (50 plus aunts and uncles and cousins and friends) would alternate celebrating the Holidays at her house, or on Erie Street (where I grew up).

I always perceive such awareness as a "sign" of some sort.

In this case, I'm perceiving this sign as a message from Aunt Anna...now in Heaven...from where she's sending me a "Merry Christmas Hello!"

May each of your Holiday memories be as bright...as this message...and this tree!

Wednesday, November 4, 2015

Happy Birthday, Mom!

Happy Birthday, Mom.

You would have been 94 today on Earth, but now you're immortal in Heaven.

Love you forever!

HJ

Tuesday, September 8, 2015

How Just $7.00 Changed My Mother's Life

My Father (Herbie Pompeii Pilato) died of lung cancer on April 6th, 1995, and my Mother (who would have turned 93 on November 4th) followed him to Heaven on May 5th, 2008 (after being challenged by dementia and heart disorders).

After my Dad left this world, it was rough road for my Mom. They were very close, and she was very dependent on him (as she didn't drive, etc.) So I tried to do the best I could for her, even once attempting to move her to LA with me (to disastrous results).

But once she was settled back in Rochester, New York she became a member of the Pinegrove Senior Center in the suburb or Irondequoit, New York. And every Monday through Friday, from June 1999 to nearly the day she died, my Mom enjoyed that Senior Center.

In all, it cost her about $6.00 a day - a price that included lunch and service for the van (that picked her up and drove her home).

So, thirty bucks a week for a senior's regular activities wasn't bad at all.

In addition to enjoying a nice daily lunch at that simple-treasured Senior Center, my Mom also played cards, went on picnics, and played bingo. She especially loved the bingo. A whole lot.

I never realized how much really.

Until, one day, when I started giving her "extra" quarters with which to play the game.

Not a lot of quarters. Just seven dollars worth.

Not ten.

Not nine.

Just seven.

Every other day, I walked into her apartment, and interrupted her daily viewing of Seinfeld or The Golden Girls, walked over to her, kissed her, and asked her to open up her hand.

At that moment, I poured out the seven dollars in quarters.

As I did this, her reaction was one of astonishment. She looked as if she won the lottery or the mega-jackpot in Vegas.

"Oh, Herbie J," she'd say with so much joy, "...what a great son you are! I have to pay you back! I have to pay you back!!"

"Ma," I would reply, "You just go have fun at the Center."

And she did, all the more...with that mere extra seven dollars.

Not a million.

Not a thousand.

Not nine.

And not ten.

Just seven.

Seven.

Tuesday, July 7, 2015

Happy Birthday to my beautiful father....

Happy Birthday to my beautiful, Dad, who passed into the Light in 1995.

He would have been 104 today.

Love you forever, Dad...and Mom, too!

Tuesday, May 5, 2015

7 years ago today that Mom went to Heaven

It's been seven years since my beloved Mom passed away.  

She was a beautiful person on Earth and she remains a beautiful soul in Heaven.

I will miss her and my Dad forever and yet I know they are doing just fine.

For whatever good that is in me was placed there by God through them.


They always supported every good thing I ever accomplished in my life and career.


As such, I owe them any and every measure of sincerity that I posses - and which I make every attempt to share.


They instilled in me the truest of priorities and humanitarian values.


I'm not always perfect and none of us are - but my parents came pretty close.

God bless you always - "St. Frances of Turri" and "St. Pompeii".